Stop Saying Live Your Best Life. Comedian Steve Soelberg

Stop Saying "Live Your Best Life" it doesn't make any sense, at least not to Steve Soelberg.

Video Script:: 

everyone says the weirdest things now on social media everyone says live your best life which I'm like okay what do you know what do you know they say live your best life it's like do you know am I gonna be like reincarnated as a dung beetle or something they're like just sitting on a pile of dung and just like I should have lived my best life when I was a human my best life humans shouldn't say live your best life cats should say live your best life makes sense right they'd just be hanging out hey Tom yeah meow meow meow meow meow right live your best life and they feel like yeah cuz we have 9 of them and that makes sense we look pretty stupid if humans said that to each other because they only have one so I don't know why they're saying that whatever someone says it I imagine this fake scenario that's not real but I imagined that I was separated from my twin brother at birth and we wander through our same lives him with the same DNA that I have only way way better he's successful he's like taller somehow he he never had zits even as an adult thank you for that by the way zits thanks for never leaving me and always being a part of my time someday I'd meet this other guy and I'd be like I'm Steve I tell jokes need be like I'm Steven I'm a doctor aren't you living our best life that's so great I'm so proud of you you'd be married right you'd be married and have kids and they'd be all beautiful and amazing and not that I I don't mind being single being single is fine with me I just didn't reminded of it at weird moments we went skiing and at the top of the ski hill there was this double black diamond ski run and it was called the Widowmaker no it's like not for me I'll make any widows no I feel like there needs to be a ski run for single people right next to that Norden just be like the nobody misser just the who's gonna feed his goldfish my favorite would be it will literally be three days before anybody even notices he's gone that one sounds sad right that's not it is a legit concern for single people though you're like if I die no one's gonna know you only people calling me or robots and I don't even answer those right what I answer for that by the way this is the part of the show my mom can't pay attention to mom I tell everybody whenever I'm going anywhere I'm very safe it wouldn't be three days I'm very safe that doesn't feel better at all look I've felt worse for some reason it's like you're gonna go but now my self-consciousness is in very weird areas like I'm self-conscious about my windshield wiper speed I do this joke just to see if anybody else has this issue does anybody else here have this issue some of you some of you it's a very bizarre issue but here's the thing windshield wipers they have like five speeds none of them are useful lo is so low it's ridiculous you turn it on and it's like a pop up and then enough time goes by that you can watch one of the Lord of the Rings trilogy and you're like he's got to get rid of that ring Frodo get rid of the ring and then it's like oh I forgot those were on that's weird that I watched movies in my car I don't know how I do that but then three four and five also not useful they're faster but not fast enough and I find myself going I need to put it on level five and level 5 level five is like Oh your windshield wipers look like they're just gonna go flying off and it's embarrassing to have it that high I know what I'm on level five I know the other drivers are like look at this time level five thinks he needs a level five I'm looking at other windshields like because this is level 3 or 4 OEM 3 what are we on three or four I can't say this is the stupidest thing that I'm embarrassed about with my car is that I bought them out you know that where you hit the curb or you hit whatever and it makes that crunch sound just right it's awful and everybody when they hear that sound they turn and look and I was I was going by a park near my house and I bottomed out I crunched and the whole park was like whew who's the idiot that doesn't know how to drive and all my windows are down and I didn't realize that and I yelled don't look at me it's the worst thing yell if you don't want people okay yeah yeah look at me and everyone's like I have to see this it's gotta be the best thing a humanist breaking down somebody who doesn't know how to drive it's turning the corner so embarrassed hey did you know that drive our comedy has their own app now download it right now and you can watch my whole special