If Someone BROKE YOUR HEART Watch This | Love, Hope & Relationships Video | Goalcast

✪ Never be ashamed to be heartbroken! We've all been there, and a couple relationship tips are always helpful. After seeing this compilation you will surely feel better, you will increase your self-esteem and learn to love yourself first.
Last year on the 75th Anniversary of D-Day we had the experience of a lifetime to go to Normandy, France and experience a small glimpse of what the people who fought for our freedom went through. It was a life changing experience we will never forget. Forever grateful to all the men and woman who fought for so much during WW2, and continue to fight so others around the world can have freedom.

Video Script::  

[Music] you never listen it's always the same thing with you it's like me you don't care you're the exact same way i'm just trying to make a point here hey friends why can't you just say that i'm right for once for once because you're not you're not you're wrong you want me to pretend is that what you want friends hold on before we continue the conversation any further let me ask you this now did you know that 70 of marriage fights are never solved the five most common things couples fight about are free time money housework intimacy and of course the in-laws well let me tell you a story about three questions that were asked to me three questions that changed my relationships and my life starts in a fast food restaurant because well as a single parent that's all i could afford i was with my daughter the one and only light of my life we were at our favorite place where we went every single friday and we were already at our table when a couple walked in you know one of those couples the ones that make you say oh look at them they're in love now truth be told i had been divorced for three years so instead i'm thinking all right go get a room but my daughter though my daughter kept staring at them and i could see she was distracted as if as if there was a tv in the room i'd make a scene of it so i tried to continue as per our usual talk you know school friends presents for her birthday but she she just wasn't listening she just kept on looking at them and then slowly with big scared eyes she turned to me and asked me the most dreaded question for any single parent what happened to you and mom her mom and i fell madly in love with each other after college the kind of love that leaves a mark on your heart we got married and had our beautiful sophie and then we started fighting we disagreed on everything as if we were both raised different as if we had different opinions on how to raise our child and those fights led to anger and anger led to hurtful comments and we became the worst of partners and i couldn't stand it so i left now am i going to say this to my nine-year-old daughter no instead i turned to sophie and said some people are just not meant for each other sweetie she then says so why don't you ever find someone else [Music] our mother had met someone so i guess i was the weird one being single but i never thought it would be so important for my daughter i was pretty sure she didn't want to hear the truth so i said i'm fine on my own i had terrible coping mechanisms and i poured my energy into my work and my daughter but i couldn't say that so i just said i have no time for relationships i was so afraid of being rejected that i couldn't even face trying to beat someone else i told her you're the only girl for me sweetie and that's when my daughter looked at me completely serious nine years old and she says i know you're lying dad my heart stopped i couldn't believe what she said and i thought i was fooling her but i was only fooling myself so i tried telling the truth i said honey it's been really hard after your mom and i separated and i'm not good at meeting people and and to be honest i don't think i have much to offer sophie stares at me completely unfazed she said dad how can you teach me to love if you can't even love yourself her words hit me like a ton of bricks how can i teach her to love if i can't even love myself in her own wisdom she taught me what i had missed had i loved myself truly i could have loved my wife every fight i picked with her every time i was angry or felt unheard it was basically because i couldn't accept myself completely my happiness depended on my wife loving me back but that's wrong you see in order to love someone else i needed to love myself first i should love myself i can love myself and so can you i'm not different i'm not special but i am deserving of love and if you can see that if you can see that you too deserve to be yourself and be happy today you too could be happy in your relationships it doesn't matter who you are what you've been through or where you come from you can decide today to take action and start loving your true self and embracing it because then then you'll be free to love unconditionally you'll gain the ability to give that power to others and change every single person in your life there would be no problem that's too big or too hard to solve no struggle too difficult to overcome no crisis too overwhelming not to band together and prevail no person too broken that cannot be mended change real change simply starts with you i know true love true love starts here i heard that melissa is cheating on you and i responded with i know and he said the exact right words to me he said what did you expect how did i get to this place so i want you to imagine me palm sweaty my heart is racing and i've just asked the scariest question that i've ever asked up until that point in my life will you be my girlfriend and she said yes and i was six i was in the second grade and i had just fallen in love for the very first time i was flying i couldn't even believe it her name was elizabeth and she was the most beautiful girl that i've ever seen in my life she wore these dresses with matching bows in her like curly blonde hair i didn't even know what it meant to be a boyfriend and a girlfriend and then what that evolved into was we spent all of our recesses together and i don't know how long the relationship lasted you know because time is so different when you're in love and you're six when i walk down the aisle of this library and i see elizabeth with chad chad was everything i wasn't tall and stocky and red hair and freckles and i was a tiny little half asian gap tooth kid with a dream of true love and it's not that i disliked chad but i knew that elizabeth disliked chad in fact she had told me over and over and over again that she actually hated chad and naive innocent little me just like walks up what do you what are you doing well i'm looking at books with chad okay but i thought you hated chat and she says these words that would shape the next two decades of my life she says no i don't hate him you're the one i hate and she turns around and she walks away with chad i was left standing there confused and six-year-old me created the story that there was something wrong with me and i couldn't see it and i i made a decision in that moment that i was gonna do everything i could to be the perfect boyfriend i was the beast and i needed my bell i was 17 years old when i was hanging out with my friends after work and katie walked into the room she went to a different high school so i'd never seen her before but the moment that she walked in i knew that was my person i knew it in the core of my being and so i got her number well that sounds way cooler i actually asked her friend for her number but i did eventually call that number and we talked all night until we were both literally falling asleep on the phone and that became a nightly ritual and i did everything i could to be the best boyfriend ever she didn't have a car but i had a car so where do you need me to drive you and life was good you know what i mean like mini golf go-kart's kind of good i even opened my heart again and yeah there were some things that weren't exactly nice to experience like the nights that i would call her and i wouldn't get an answer the text messages that didn't get returned the various things that were indicators i ignored all of them she was perfect she was my bell and then one day we're at the mall and we're walking out of the gap and as we're walking out i go to put my hand on her shoulder not even arm around her but just put my hand on her shoulder and as soon as my fingers touch down she reacts as if i've shocked her and she yells at me don't touch me and she storms off i was back to the six-year-old version of me in that library not knowing what i had just done but obviously something i did was worth hating and i felt my whole world kind of crumbling around me and that led to a series of relationships over several years of me trying to find people to fill me up but i was a bucket with a giant hole in it so every time someone would come in and fill me up at all it would just go right out i hit a rock bottom with a woman named melissa we were lifeguards we worked together and she let me know that this guy dan was gonna give her a ride home and then one day my friend called me up and he said hey man i have to tell you something i heard that melissa is cheating on you [Music] and i responded with i know and i remember sitting up on the lifeguard chair watching dan's car drive off with my girlfriend in the passenger seat and knowing and he said the exact right words to me he said what did you expect why are you always trying to see the best in people ignoring signs of a lack of integrity or that they might not actually care about me because i saw them in their highest but what it made me realize was that i wasn't doing the same thing for myself i wasn't giving myself the benefit of the doubt that's what i was doing for everyone else in my life but not for me i was spending every ounce of energy to be the right match for what everyone else wanted me to be the good student for my parents the good athletes for my friends and the perfect boyfriend and so for me it became about seeing what i had allowed myself to believe that there was something wrong with me and deciding that i was going to change that that i was worth changing that your self-love journey starts when you say you love yourself enough to be worthy of making changes in your life you do not have to accept the things about your life that you do not love you don't need to like yourself to love yourself unconditionally you are ever evolving with every single moment every single breath that you take and so that journey to become the person that you want to be the person who truly loves themself all of you the person who designs a life that reflects back to you how amazing life could be that starts by loving yourself unconditionally everything i've been through has brought me to be this person this man standing here today because i am enough and that's enough just by showing up and you are enough this very moment you are enough because you are and that's the thing that fascinated scientists at the beginning when it came to rejection why do they hurt so much why does it hurt so much there's just so many ways in which we can get rejected we get turned down by potential dates we get turned down by potential employers our friends go to lunch without us our parents don't approve of our lifestyles but all of them have one thing in common and that is they really really hurt so they wanted to study it the thing is you have to be able to catch rejection in action if you want to study it you know you can't just take your research assistant to a local singles bar and go oh look that dude just got shot down quick give him the questionnaire that's not gonna work so how do you recreate it so here's what they did and you're sitting in the waiting room and there are two other people in the waiting room and there's a ball on the table and one of them takes the ball and goes up you know and throws it to the other person and the other person catches it and go and throws it to you and you catch it and you throw it back to the first person who then goes and throws it to the second and the second doesn't throw it to you throws it back to the first person and now they are tossing the ball and you're excluded now how would that make you feel now most people think two strangers in a waiting room didn't toss me a bull big whoop i don't care but it turns out we care quite a bit because this is a paradigm that has been used dozens and dozens of times and everyone who goes through it reports feeling significant emotional pain so they said let's run the experiment again they took them in and they go okay we're coming clean those are research assistants it wasn't real the whole thing was rigged now does it hurt and people were like yeah it still hurts so scientists were like what is going on in our brain here with this rejection thing like how come it's so unreasonable i mean we're telling people it wasn't real and they're still hurting so they put people in a functional mri machine they wanted to see literally what happens in the brain and what they found was shocking to them because what they saw was that the same pathways in the brain light up when we get rejected as light up when we experience physical pain they ran the experiment again and gave half the group of people tylenol and the people who got tied and all reported less emotional pain now i'm not suggesting that you go out on your next date packing tylenol why are we wired to experience rejection so severely why and the answer is because of our evolutionary past because we grew up in in tribes and we couldn't survive outside them being ostracized from your tribe was a death sentence but it also explains why we feel things so harshly and today we don't live in small pockets of humanity so the opportunities for rejection are innumerable so let's look at how people typically respond to rejection vodka they reach for the bottle not a good idea turns out that when you stuff your feelings down with alcohol they often come back up again and the other thing we often do is we turn to food we try and drown our sorrows with food now needless to say these responses don't really work very well so what do we need to do there's several wounds we need to treat but the most urgent of them is that we need to do something to revive our self-worth one of the ways that is most common in terms of how people do that is positive affirmations those are statements like i am attractive and worthy i'm going to be a great success but when we do studies about them what we find is that positive affirmations don't work well why is that why is it that when your self-esteem is low telling yourself that you're going to be successful and people are going to love you and everything is going to be great why would that make you feel bad well when a statement falls within the boundaries of our belief system we'll accept it and when a statement falls outside the boundaries of our belief system we'll reject it and so when you're feeling really unworthy of love and you're telling yourself i'm worthy of love i'm worthy of success your unconscious mind will reject that statement so what should you do well there is another kind of affirmation that actually does work and that's the one i'm going to suggest it's called self affirmations and the thing about self affirmations is they are generated by you so you know they fall within the boundary of your belief system because you're the one that has to come up with them make a list of five qualities attributes that you have that you really believe are valuable in whatever the domain is and then you write a brief essay one or two paragraphs about one of the items on your list you really elaborate why that's an important thing and that will actually remind you of self-worth that you actually have that will make you feel better doing that now some people say to me i tried it it didn't work and i'm like you you made the list and you wrote the essay no no i just thought about those things and i thought about why they were important and i'm like well you know that's like saying i was hungry so i thought about the food i had in my fridge turns out i'm still hungry you know no you have to write the essay you have to make the list because making the list is like taking the food out of the fridge and cooking it and writing the essay is how you eat it it's how you absorb it your brain needs for you to think about it to process it to write it that's how the message gets absorbed because it's so obvious to us that we need to monitor our physical health we need to monitor our bodies that's very very clear to us but it's not clear to us at all that we need to monitor our psychological health i really hope that the next time you experience some kind of psychological injury you won't just hurt but you'll try applying emotional first aid go into the chapel and um gonna get married go into the chapel and i'm gonna get devastated gee i really am uncertain and we're gonna get divorced going to the chapel of love i'm 20 years old at the chapel doors big white dress and a four foot train and there is a man at the end of the aisle who i do not want to marry how did i get here i grew up in a home where i was unsafe unspecial unloved and so when that was reflected back to me it felt like home it felt like love and when i was 16 and for the first time in my life someone looked in my eyes and said i love you well you knew i was going to marry him i was starved for human connection so i went ahead and married someone just like my father and divorced him by the time i was 30 and then i was engaged to someone just like my mother and i ended that when i was 40 so my work is done challenges do not keep us from our dreams they prepare us for our dreams and so i am ready i'm ready to meet mr right right and how do i attract my soul mate well that's a big question and i always take big questions into meditation and i heard the answer lean back and receive what does that even mean lean back and receive you mean i'm not supposed to work for it i'm not supposed to prove my worthiness of love i'm supposed to let go of everything i ever thought i knew about love i am a beautiful being deserving of love and so are you for no other reason than because you are you so the next time i get married and there will be a next time my vows will sound like this dear one i love you so much that i'm gonna put me first i promise to be at peace with who i am so i can be at peace with who you are i am committed to my greatness so that i can be comfortable with your greatness i take full responsibility for how i feel about you it's all on me and the only thing i ask of you is that you do the same for me now i am open willing and ready for love the question is who else is ready and who's next down the aisle [Applause]