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Wife Hacks Are Life Hacks. Ricky Glore

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Added by Mel in Comedy
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Description

Wife hacks are life hacks, if you don't believe us, just as Ricky Glore.

 

 

 

 

Video Script:: when I got married I learned something very quick I'm never gonna ask my wife where she wants to go for dinner whenever I do ruins the night we just get in a fight so men I started doing this when I get home I find my wife I go up to her and I excitedly say hey guess where I'm taking you for dinner tonight and whatever she says that's where we go [Applause] life hacks are things that make your life easier but because it's your wife it's a wife hack now I love my wife she is the most amazing person in my world and I I wouldn't be as a good a person now if it weren't for her there's a lot of comedians that will poke fun and they'll make fun of their significant others and wives and they'll be like oh women are different and weird I'm gonna do that too first thing I'd understand first thing holiday candles you know what I'm talking about the Christmas scented candles the ones that are scented like evergreen balsam Holly Jolly gumdrop nonsense first thing my wife does after Christmas ends she boxes them all up she runs and she puts them in a closet in the basement where we can't find him next year cuz that's a fun game first thing she does after boxing up all the Christmas scented candles goes out and buys all new scented candles why can't we use Christmas candles all year round are we worried we're gonna have guests come over in July they're gonna walk in and smell them I'd be like oh I've done zero shopping second thing I don't get geeky little wooden home signs you know the wooden signs that have paragraphs of sayings etched into them you know the thing you want to read as soon as you enter someone's house they have sayings like home is where the heart is and a house is just a house until it's filled with people that you love then it's a home nor these sites for they're not for me if they were they would be honest and they would say things like home is where my farts are and a house is just a house until I get there immediately take off my pants and then it's a home one thing my wife and I we love to do is we will watch horror movies together we love watching horror movies she'll sit there eyes glued to the TV wide-open just throwing back gobs of popcorn all up until the point in a horror movie when a small animal like a dog appears as soon as a dog appears in a horror movie my wife will snap up and she will go if they touch one hair on that poor defenseless animals head I'm gonna stop watching this horror movie well luckily honey the hockey-mask killer kills adults teenagers super small children but has a soft spot for shih tzus and that's why you auteur movies you want to see the mutilations the decapitations but I guess it would be weird if before watching a horror movie you were with someone and behind you you heard them say I'll just want to see how many dogs they kill it's gonna get rough rough while watching these horror movies we realize something especially if you watch nineties horror movies where you're supposed to guess who the killer is like they'll introduce a batch of teens at the beginning and it's Lego which one of these is the killer never at the end of one of these is the killer revealed to be the friend who has the shape and body image of someone like me think about it at the end of the movie the killer's never taken off their mask and they're like and that killer was me the whole time and the teenagers are like yup we knew it was you Pro you really a stretch and fill out that black robe you're wearing you have like 80 pounds on all of us also earlier when you were chasing us through the woods with that axe you were breathing pretty heavy at one point we saw you lean up against a tree are you okay bro hey did you know that Drybar comedy has their own app yeah you can go download it right now and watch my whole special what

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