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No One Is More Honest Than a 2 Year Old. Jim Colliton


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Added by Mel in Comedy
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No one is more honest than a 2 year old, especially if that 2 year old belongs to Jim Colliton.

 

 

 

 

 

Video Script:: 

got three beautiful children at home here's what I've learned from having three kids and get some younger couples maybe here tonight I want you remember this you're thinking of having children you're gonna need to get yourself a paper shredder because children produce a mass amount of artwork and not all of it is frigerator worthy and it crushes that a little hard if they see their artwork in the trash can that's why you need to shred it at night when they go to bed and get yourself an industrial shredder cuz some of this stuff has macaroni goes away my kids are older now it goes by I miss them when they were younger I think my favorite age mister - you ever hang out with someone who's - you were hanging out with the most honest person you will ever meet your life because at or old they haven't even learned how to lie yet you can ask a tutor or any question they would tell you the truth did you hit your sister with that block yes I did daddy yes I did I hate her right in the head just watching TV didn't even see me coming bang threes a fun age - if you hung out with people who were 3 they tend to ask a whole lot of questions one of my daughter's favorite question was just what you're doing daddy what are you doing daddy I'm just making us some breakfast here honey and what are you doing daddy I'm still still making the breakfast here honey hey what are you doing daddy now I'm mixing a drink have a little tango right well that's sippy cup you play hide-and-seek with a three-year-old they tell you where they're gonna go hide daddy I'm gonna go hide in the kitchen ok I'll come find you at halftime Ana's we're all being honest with each other I had my two girls first then I have my boy my boys great he just seems a little harder to raise after the girls it was probably the potty training I was like three three and a half we got him out of the diapers right the beach the whole family we're having a good time he comes over we go steady I gotta go pee I go you know we can do Joe looking on the ocean we can pee in the ocean we compete you know yeah it's kind of an unwritten law but let's go I walk him down I got those knees they said okay buddy just go pee right here he proceeds to pull down his bathing suit spin around you suck I mean I was peeing at the time - Mike what are you doing gonna really grasp the whole concept 45 minutes later now we're up at the blanket we're doing sand castles he comes over those daddies nah go go pool this day will never end my wife goes you need to bring him up to the porta-potties they're up there in the parking lot I did what any good parent would do turning my oldest child I said I will give you $5,000 if you bring your problems with border-box my oldest knows it off - at the beach so there we are up at the porta-potties now a three-year-old boy cannot really grasp disgustingness of porta potty he was announcer you don't hurry to leave the porta potty I gotta go in there with him and hold his hands got a little bum but I don't want to fall in he's just looking around it is smelly in here daddy huh this place is really really smelly a lot of flies in here true we should take a fly home for a back we're gonna catch something don't you worry about it alright this dad is about ready to pass out so you need to focus it up here young man I get you a cup of coffee or a sports page or something longest 20 minutes of my life finally he finishes up and pull him down he looks triangles hey daddy no place to wash my hands in here I go you know we'll do Jo we'll go down the ocean wash our hands in the ocean he goes the ocean I just be me oh gee you hey did you know that Drybar comedy has its own app download it right now and you can watch my whole special

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