Three Words Every Father Needs To Hear. Bob Stromberg

Getting a laugh at your father's expense is hilarious, especially if your Bob Stromberg.

Video Script:: 

I tell you for 40 years folks no lie I have gotten so many laughs at my father's experience but I want you to know if he were here tonight he'd be sitting up will he be sleeping but I would tell these stories and he would just be delighting in them which just tickles me just to know that my dad gets it my dad understands his boys profession my dad understands I'm just using him to make money [Music] [Laughter] hardly ever seen him angry no not many of you could say that about your death hardly ever seen well one time he was I had a slinky how many of you did by the way slinky look at yours here hey yeah that has to be one of the greatest marketing feats in American history right there think about this some marketing genius convinced listen 300 million of us that we all had to have our own personal spring did this for hours because well that's gonna do people you did not go downstairs I did not know yours didn't either no I didn't went down two steps and through itself down the rest you know [Applause] I had a giant slinky we're talking close to two bucks and apparently one day after playing with I left it laying in the high grass where the next day my dad hit it with the power mower and this did upset him though may not have been so much anger as it was just fear because that is a terrifying sight to see that ever-lengthening strand of wire an inch and a half above the ground rotating at 2200 rpm hold the whole backyard in three-and-a-half seconds at go see my dad jumping back there I got a call from my mom a few years back she said your dad's had a terrible accident my dad old man now huh had climbed up in an apple tree 18 feet that's about as high as you go on an apple tree huh he's picking apples up there and throwing them to my cousin who should have been in the tree throw them to my cousin my cousin was catching the apples and putting them in an apple basket and my dad figured out if he could pick a whole lot of apples and throw them faster than my cousin could catch them and put them then he could repeatedly they got laughing well my dad was grabbed a rotten limb snapped off 18 feet to the ground old paratrooper he managed to land on his side but shattered his pelvis they have him in surgery for four or five hours trying to screw him back together my mom's trying to get ahold of me for four six eight hours I can't remember why finally does I said can I talk to him she said yeah I think so hey folks I want to tell you something I am a guy who has always loved his mom and dad I love my mom and dad and never a moment in my life have I questioned if my mom and dad loved me I always knew how much they loved me but having said that I would also tell you this my dad and I didn't say those three words I love you hardly ever and I've wondered why that is because I always said those words to my boys and they to their kids and now I to my grandkids and now my dad and I we talked two three times a week we FaceTime we never end a conversation without saying I love you dad and he to me I love you son but all those years growing up we didn't say those three words I said the mom can I talk to him she said yeah I think so and then I heard him say hi Bob two syllables and I heard the pain in his voice I said dad I'm so sorry he said well thanks Bob I said I heard you're up pretty high he said you have no idea [Music] I thought he's gonna tell me about how a skin was heating up as he came through the atmosphere back door I said dad I wish there was something I could say to make you feel better he said well thanks Bob and I realized there was something to be said because life is short huh and I said those three words so long overdue I said dad walk it off which got him laughing pretty hard by the way and apparently it really hurts to laugh with a crotch full of screws hey do you know the Drybar comedy has their own app download it right now to watch my whole comedy special