Keeping Your Marriage Interesting Video. Comedian Dave Dugan

Keeping your marriage interesting isn't that difficult, especially if your wife has restless leg syndrome, or likes to go shopping, just ask Dave Dugan

Video Script:: 

I am sleep-deprived I've been sleep-deprived ever since I had kids I'm not blaming them I'm just saying things changed and it's not just the kids my wife has that that deal were restless leg syndrome you know I'm talking about all right so there's nothing less relaxing than to be startled in the middle of the night and look at the covers next to you I [Music] thought I'm gonna pull back the coverage he's gonna have cloven hooves this is this is not I remember I took those vows seriously you know for richer or for poorer in sickness and in health nowhere do I remember you have to stick with her if she's got the Crazy Legs the only time I get any good sleep anymore is when I go in for some sort of surgery yeah most people dread that you know I'm up to like one colonoscopy a month I gotta say uh take daddy to the happy place I know I'm gonna get a couple of good hours of shut-eye there so so my wife and I now this year makes 23 years of marriage and I have nothing bad to say about marriage it's actually you know there's you know we I don't tell everybody this by the way but we only knew each other for three months before we got married because well you know what everybody's got a checklist in your head even if you don't admit it and we were checking everything off so it was like why wait everything we we saw eye to eye on you know we both don't like deep fancy we hate to dance she has a slight appreciation for the Three Stooges neither of us can read and she's allergic to gold so you can build a whole build a whole life on that and I mean we don't see eye to eye on everything she loves to shop that's probably my least favorite thing to do I don't like to shop but you start to support your spouse you know they do things that with you that they probably have no interest in doing I'll go shopping with her but I have to find something to keep myself entertained you know because that one of my favorite things to do is I like to hide one of those racks of clothes and then when somebody comes by which eventually they will they they pull the clothes back I'm always there to hand them a garment of clothing doing my best Jack Nicholson here's your Spanx so this last anniversary uh my wife broke it to me that uh and she did a nice way but she says you know you always give me stuff that's real practical for the anniversary why don't you maybe get something a little more intimate and kind of hurt my feelings a little bit because I care about what she cares about I listen to her very carefully I remember one year seems like non-stop she'd say you know I really like to paint and so that anniversary I got a real nice a 12 foot ladder and she was talking about but so I I capitalized on that word drove beat on that word intimate and I I ended up at a Victoria's Secret I've never been in one of those stores in my life I didn't open my eyes all time I was in there I just grabbed something at random off the shelf got at home it was one of those slinky bras which you probably seen a slinky hanging from each cover which is real handy when it gets dirty she rolls down the stairs goes in the washer all by itself that's probably the best thing I've ever stolen you know [Music] but so much better being married than being single I never had like I had a lot of blind dates friends always wanted to fix me up I don't think one of them materialized to a second date even when I thought it was gonna be you know maybe something was gonna work out I remember this one time ice pick stuff this this girl she was attractive and she said something just threw me off I guess we were at a nice restaurant to Long John Silver's and she said she goes will you please excuse me I've got to pee like a racehorse what do you say to that oh I hear that I've got a poop like a Clydesdale this is a dream date right here nearly choked on my hush puppies I oh hey did you know that drive our comedy has their own app you can download it right now and see my whole special