Classic Steve Martin Appearance From 1975 on The Tonight Show Starring Johnny Carson

Classic Steve Martin Appearance From 1975 on The Tonight Show Starring Johnny Carson Airdate: 09/30/1975 #johnnycarson #stevemartin #thetonightshow

Video Script:: 

one of the current crop of new young comedians breaks me up because he's got a hinge loose somewhere which I think you have to have to be comic you have to think funny and think ridiculous his name Steve Martin of course he'll be appearing at the exit in Nashville Tennessee and on the 12th of this month 12th and 13th of October and at the cellar door in Washington DC October the 16th through the 19th would you welcome please Steve Martin Wow thank you very much got a lot of people here how many people are here tonight just out of curiosity raise the mic okay well we're gonna one other question before we start how many people do not enjoy raising their hand this is just a curious thing for me you do not enjoy okay let's get going now oh one thing before I start I don't like to plug the things on the show but I recorded an album a couple of months ago and two days from tonight that will be this coming Thursday we're going to erase it so okay that's right professional comedian can't trust a thing I say my shoelace is untied oh I love playing jokes on myself okay let's get moving now we're gonna we're gonna have some fun tonight a books oh Christ art this is a dumb thing to talk about but I gave my cat a bath the other day and I had always heard that you weren't supposed to give cats baths you know but my cat came home and his really dirty and I decided to give him a bath and it was great if you have a cat don't worry about it they loved it he sat there he enjoyed it it was fun for me the fur would stick to my tongue but other than that it was really good here we go [Applause] you have to forgive me because whenever I tell that joke I get kind of depressed I shouldn't talk about this but it was my old girlfriends favorite joke and you know sometimes after this show I'd come home we're together about three years and I come home and tell it to her and she'd laugh and I get kind of sentimental because she's not living anymore and that's I guess I kind of blame myself for her death I shot her okay let's let's get going here we are so tonight's show you're expecting to see a professional show that's what I'm here to do professional comedy let's get going with professional show business here we go hey hey [Applause] [Music] it's not a happy sound near with me it's like being at Shakey's Pizza all the time I think I think people who are out of work instead of giving them money we should give them a banjo because it's so happy they can just go home it to get a job that I do know [Applause] sing-alongs tubes I thought the banjo was the one thing that could have saved Nixon you know if you if you went on television went huh everything's great I hate to talk about Nixon cuz I kind of feel sorry for him you know I I had this image of him walking along the beach in San Clemente all by himself you know with a metal detector you found the quarter okay working with this curtain I asked for a regular curtain can I get I'm sorry I'm got a little angry there I asked for a different mic than this I was having I was working with a Sony 1200 I've got could I get a close-up shot I hate I'm sorry I'm a little angry I guess I've kind of exploded I've gone wrong I'm really [Music] I'm sorry okay let's get moving now thank you very much we're having some fun now folks yo Rob oh now I do a bit in my act where I make balloon animals and it's really funny and everybody laughs today and I had a request to do it tonight and then I was gonna do it but then I remembered I've done it on the show before so I was a little confused I hate to repeat material yet you know I wanted to do the thing so I've made a compromise I'm going to make balloon animals but I'm not going to blow them up I think this will be [Music] [Applause] that's a it's a puppy dog yeah there's a cow playing a guitar okay no the real thing I wanted to do tonight I have a great joke we can play on a hundred thousand people now here's how it works right now watching television there's about 20 million people and out of those 20 million about a million of them are flipping around trying to figure out what to watch and see who's uncurse and you know so what we do is every 10 seconds 50,000 new people tune in and they don't know what's happening they just tuned in so what we'll do is we'll wait 10 seconds and I'll start being really weird and telling jokes that have no punchlines you know and you just laugh like crazy like they're the funniest jokes you've ever heard you know I mean this guy is great and the people coming in will think they're wrong he must be good I don't know must be the new humor or something so we'll wait 10 seconds we'll go into it just about a standing ovation that's all I'm looking for well close with a big song ok I'll wait 10 seconds I'll give you a cue like this and we'll go into our funny comedy joke won't that be fun ok great okay okay got a cute story boy you wouldn't be funny if you went home to repair your TV and there was a banana in it thank you yeah got another story for him hey you what a great graphic fella comes home opens his refrigerator there's a clown and his refrigerator he looks at the clown the clown looked at in the Phyllis's I didn't expect to see you in there hey you are really fast not many people get that one that's beautiful okay you have to close those little dancin there we go oh I know what you're gonna say I think Steve how can you be so fun esra [Laughter] I like to explain something see when I go out on stage I feel funny you know my whole body feels funny you have to get Prime for ya put a slice of Bologna and each one of my shoes go away pickles work for me but Bologna is they're gonna give us yeah I bet you're writin shows now aren't you fun oh I'm just kind of dabbling I used to write comedy for television all the time exciting and share and Smothers Brothers Comedy Hour a lot of cool things like that but now I'm just some friends of mine were producing the Dick Van Dyke special and got a got involved with that I've really turned out well we have the script done it's really yeah in my opinion exceptional you're not gonna give up performing oh no no no no this is strictly a little side thing I'm into if you're into what I'm doing and I'm not trying to be pompous or anything like that I'm working on the John oh you know you're talking earlier about ways to avoid crime get to commercial and it's okay second is oh yeah you only want to do it now then can we follow up on this one we come back Hey [Music] sure we're coming right back and we'll find out what it's talking about okay [Applause]