Louie Anderson's Incredible First Appearance on The Tonight Show Starring Johnny Carson - 11/20/1984

Funny, funny man! His Dad and my Dad must have known each other.

Video Script:: 

okay thank you dot - yeah I'm an excuse it's named Louie Anderson he's a comedian he's making his first appearance on national television and he's gonna be opening tomorrow night in Las Vegas the new Comedy Store at the dunes hotel and he'll be there through Sunday night would you welcome please Louie Anderson I can't stay long I'm in between meals so bear with [Applause] [Music] I was just at McDonald's and all those statistics just changed I went shopping today what's this one-size-fits-all stop being in California being fat try to get into this California life went to the beach the other day every time I lay down people would push me back into the water [Applause] hurry up he's dying and bombs down at the beach always coming up here those guys hey buddy could you help me out with the sandwich well sure where is it of course what brought me to California was the Olympics I was tried every event for the Olympics tried that pole vault I drove that sucker right into the ground I did a good thing though I straightened up those uneven parallel bars broad jump killed her [Applause] oh sorry I'm sweating but if I don't I'll explode [Applause] my favorite thing is when you go over to someone's house in your Fath day they overcompensate oh come on in Luanne sit down here in this concrete so far or the reinforced steel lawn furniture know what I do head right for that wicker [Applause] people say Louie why you do those bathtubs cuz if I didn't you guys would sit out there and go do you think he knows he's that big like I woke up one morning oh no honey get in here I am from Minnesota and any Minnesota did I get it right home with you where would we put them I love Minnesota we go back every year at the great outdoors they do a lot of camping of course when I go camping the Bears put their food up in the trees I had a vet I had that very strict Midwestern upbringing a very strict father the kind of guy who hates everybody you know my dad we'd be in the family car driving down the street he'd spot somebody walking down the street that was a little different Oh he'd slow that car down look at that for a crying I'll get my rifle [Music] or he he would say things that made no sense here when you're a kid he'd be driving the traffic you get rough you know if I was the last person on earth some moron would turn left in front of me and when he'd say that too if I was the last person it always turned to your brother and go wish he was don't you my dad I heard that damn it do you kids want to walk home from here well yeah it's only a block don't get smart with me or I'll Drive you a 10 damn miles and drop you off that's how far I had to walk to school every damn day my brother would chime in and you didn't have any shoes either did you dad I don't want you to get the wrong impression of my father he never hit us carried a gun we never shot it he just called I loved hassling my parents at a younger brother of course that's the easiest way cuz you don't have to hit them or anything you just get up in the morning you got on to breakfast you look across the table you do this you do that you'll hear this every time mom Louise looking at me again and you love that cuz you go oh is it against the law to look at people look at mom does this bother you you keep it up always in here [Music] [Applause] Louie Anderson we'll be right back you