Groucho Marx Makes a Surprise Visit on The Tonight Show Starring Johnny Carson - 10/04/1965

Groucho Marx Makes a Surprise Visit on The Tonight Show Starring Johnny Carson - 10/04/1965 #johnnycarson #thetonightshow #grouchomarx

Video Script:: 

telling about rays other routine he does wonderful bid with a guy who has been out with his girl in his roommate [Applause] [Laughter] [Applause] Groucho come on over sit down man I'm wonderful come on over you seen you and like this the whole week has been yes what what is the did you got most Hollywood parties or what what is all the hilarity about I don't understand this I think it's a nice outfit I just did is it unusual you think not for Hollywood no not for me I know I just wore this because I come from the golf course and and well I thought I'd come right over from the golf course here well I'm glad you dropped in tonight yeah you might ask me why I'm wearing whatever you will s you just want me to sit here 9:30 what you know it wasn't easy to get these under I'm mad this outfit on in 30 years this is true I wore this in animal crackers and it's been hanging in my closet waiting for a call which unfortunately never came I open the closet and there at Thunderman or would you say hanged there it Punk no I'd say hung them and I'm hanging right here - hey laughing boy how are you you're looking real well yeah well you don't look too bad I mean for a fella that's been going through the life you have out here with what I understand it's been very quiet yeah deteriorated considerably since I saw you last Ramin your behavior you were virtually an innocent boy when I play smooth now you're kind of an old experienced rounder autobiography I read your autobiography when anybody asked me why I'm wearing you know it took me 20 minutes to get to get these on doesn't why I did in the 19th thing why are you wearing the outfit that you open at animal crackers I also closed an animal crackers in this and this was one of the contributing reasons I tell you the fact is I was praying God is my girlfriend yes you man and it was did I say that and well it was getting late and it was getting dark and I had on this outfit I always wear this when I play golf why do you why do you always this is some straight man you guys I'm in this game why do you wear that when you play go up because they don't have golf carts there and we ride horses and you get off and make the shot and and climb on the horse again now for that feeble ways it took me an hour and a half together what hardly worth the trip huh I actually came out here because I wanted you to read some of this stuff here not all of it I mean it's just a I've marked three brief paragraphs which I would like you to read which I got a this one and this one you read and yes you really get without glasses you put on glasses in and then then this one and this astonished me so much that I thought the well it's read it loud and with some sincerity in addition that who are you which is even more important yeah Joann Hosey roll and race Caroline tracing you two different girls st. a secret white and grouchy will come to your house I say my dressing room isn't good enough [Laughter] your patients are in the hospital right oh yeah are you a physician oh really where are you registered any place right would you like me to hit on home and lock up early or what stick around for a while this is dated the papers released from the Library of Congress viola Library of Congress dear mr. Marx and so forth and so on and so on and so on and so on the Library of Congress the letters signed but a fine who sent this El Quincy Mumford that's right he's Louis reminiscent he's the librarian of Congress may I ask if you've made suitable suitable provision for preserving your personal papers if not I invite you to consider the claims of the Library of Congress as an appropriate repository in the library's manuscript division may be found many of the nation's manuscript treasures including the personal papers of most of the presidents this is not legitimate it sure is these distinguished collections would be enhanced by the addition of your papers I invite you to present them to the American people skim over it I invite you to enunciate clear scuse me I'm sorry all right I invite you to present them to the American people for inclusion in the National Library if the invitation appeals to you and I earnestly hope that it does little parenthetical expression you put in I shall be happy to provide further details meanwhile I enclose an explanatory brochure for your information now read the next paragraph the manuscript collections of the Library of Congress are composed of many millions of papers valuable as students of the American past here are the originals of the rough draft the Declaration of Independence George Washington's commissioners commander-in-chief of the Continental Army the notes on the Proceedings of the Constitutional Convention the first telegraphed message the first and second draft the Gettysburg Address the correspondence of George Washington Thomas Jefferson it's rather grant Abraham Lincoln you're going to mumble all through this thing I think that is uh well it's an extraordinary I was so astounded would they let all the people who come through there see your personal papers yes they can if they're really interested they can see them I tell you the I don't know how they had wind of this but I have been a corresponding with a number of people for about 25 years I mean Bob Benchley and James Thurber and Eby Nunnally Johnson Harry carrots and goodie ace and Fred Allen Freddy Allen I rewrote every week back I saw a lot of your letters to have between you and Fred in Fred's book or the one that Portland put together and I was so pleased when I got this thing and having not finished public school to find my letters perhaps laying next to the Gettysburg Address I hope it's quite a incongruity in in in addition to being extremely thrilling and I am I'm very proud of this thing have you sent any of them back yet now I compile them and they're Simon & Schuster's doing my book of letters you see the trouble with Fred's book I thought and it's his letters are wonderful but he didn't have any of the letters to him in the book through and I think it's kind of one-sided and my my book is gonna have the letters back and forth from the people who have written I mean I have to get clearances from all these people summer in Europe and Africa are all over it's gonna make a great book quite a chore but you find someone whose greatest humor in the correspondence it that took place between yes and it's so reminiscent you know of my earlier days so many things come back when you read all letters letters the Dames too that some of them will have to be expedited I imagine I was wondering about the you know yes parents bringing their children through the Library of Congress and well they better be over 31 when they go I mean the children not the parents go right ahead and proceed with this I'm all through with this is the whole purpose of me coming over here they accept to say hi to you why is acres and they here McNamara go and then McNamara's band go into hysterics over yeah you know what they put in here this time if a musician says does this lemonade there's something like that here's a foot tapping message from the Jolly Green Giant one day the valley cats were having a little ho ho ho down for the Jolly Green Giant so to show them he was no squared the giant treated the boys to his niblets brand corn frozen in butter sauce tall crisp krandalls of the Giants on sweet corn frozen fresh in this flavor tight cooking pouch so all the flavor stays in the corn you also get the flavor of his delicately seasoned butter sauce and dig this at the giant new mixed vegetables the Giants tastiest corn peas green beans carrots and lima beans frozen fresh in this flavor type cooking pouch try the green giants niblets brand corn and also his mixed vegetables both frozen and butter sauce they're wonderful wonderful oh we're back now Groucho was asking George about the song they are manana Angela I said you were asking George you've about the song you would know that the song yeah the yama yama that you have heard for that was the only incidentally would you know that song is about fifty years old no fields produced to show and many years ago with Bessie McCoy and that song was in that so he must be you must be about 100 years I would say you look 85 okay and the other 15 on hand i makes a total of 100 years now why don't we how you feelin it you feel I feel great you look great no whiskey no nothing no decremental nothing it's just pure skill annoyance and retribution that'll do in that other those are occasional drink I thought you did I have one drink before dinner but keeps me running to the loo frequently I consume more time there than I do I'm not sure that it's worth it really that's a funny thing you had Shelley Berman on here the other night I mean he was talking about euphemisms and it's so true now in in London I just came from there I did quiz show for the four months over there in the rain out in the street with no umbrella and the loo you know and here you have to go I don't want to get into Jack Paar's territory but it's true this is a very dishonest nation here they never tell the truth about anything everything is euphemistic the sky is everything so you two need a piano the submarine committee we're gonna take a break [Applause] you