The Unspoken Rules Of The Bathroom. Comedian Shawn Reynolds

The unspoken rules of the bathroom are simple, just listen to Shawn Reynolds and see if you can relate. Funny guy!

Video Script:: 

I do travel a lot a lot of crazy things happen on the road this is the one story I tell everybody because I'm so mad about it so I had to apologize for something I didn't do wrong and I don't know about you all but that's my least favorite thing to do I was traveling through Michigan I had to use the bathroom so I stopped at a Speedway gas station and I realized that's my first mistake and I own that and it was a one-person bathroom don't worry this isn't gross it's a one-person bathroom where you know it's just a sink and in the toilet and the han't you've been in the bathroom you know and I popped open the door and boom there was a man sitting on the pot reading the paper not happy to see me and he yelled at me because someone's in here and the old man I'm so sorry I felt terrible felt awkward but then the longer I stood there I'm like I apologized I didn't do anything wrong this is not okay so obviously I had to stick my head back in there but this time no sir this was on you you did this to me I didn't ask for any of this lock it up and who reads the paper anymore get out your phone and play candy crush like an adult it's interesting what he said to me though we realize this later on someone's in here I realize this the bathroom is the only place and the only room in the house where we do not refer to ourselves in the first person we've never realized that any other room who's in the basement I'm in the basement I'm in the kitchen I'm in bed reading a book but if it's the bathroom someone is in here I'm not saying it's me I'm not saying it's not me see it's someone we get in there and we think we were in the witness protection program I got mad the guy a speedway though cuz I how he said it right yelled at me someone's in here is if I had jimmied the lock and kicked in the door you got room for one more someone's in here oh oh I know you know I'd like to have found that out walking up to a door that was locked call me old-fashioned as opposed to your method sir which is just telling all of us one at a time face-to-face your pants around your ankles your method is no good sir guys I told my mom about this she sided with him she goes you should have knocked first and wrong because the bathroom is also the one place where we do not properly respond to a knock Dewey we've all been in the bathroom our bathroom stall what are we doing somebody knocks I hope that locks in the hole [Applause] you can't reach it because you're in the handicap stall getting a lock right there everyone eventually the person on the other side of the door puts it into the whole thing by making good use that will gap they've left between the side [Music] someone's in here hi I feel like jumping up and wonder at my feet make eye contact with me in here the problem is we get in there we don't know what to say do we sometimes we yell this out how did old World War 2 terminology into this equation here's what I do I do it every time you can do it it works never I'm in there and somebody just keeps banging on the door pulling on that handle I just yell out it's hot ready that will buy you some time hey did you know that Drybar comedy has their own app can download it right now and watch my entire special