The Secrets To Looking Skinny. Comedian Ken Rogerson

The secrets to looking skinny aren't difficult to learn, just listen to Ken Rogerson!

Video Script:

it's hard to stay in shape man you remember you're a kid you'd spring out of bed the morning just ready to play I get up now man the first 10 or 15 minutes it sounds like I'm walking on bubble wrap so it's just this horrible cow how do I pull a leg muscles sleeping I gotta quit dreaming about running or dream about stretching before gene Baur here sleeping is getting difficult some days like I look out the window right I say oh what a beautiful day I could go for a run or I could put on TV and watch other people run professionally while I eat Ben and Jerry's and quite frankly I love Ben & Jerry's and they hate running so it's really a no brainer for me I've had the same running shoes for probably seven years now but I have worn out spoons [Laughter] probably not good for a man of my advancing years man here's the thing oh by the way if you want to look a little a little better I'm trying to lose weight right I still got my bass in gentlemen but guys here's what you do this is two XL shirts that's the secret check it out that's two XL I have to put on this much more weight for I look bad in this shirt I said of snowin that had they to 3xl shirts on sale for eight bucks uh but I bought five of them and I walk in a club that died my friend goes hey man did you lose weight I went yes I did apparently my problem was shirt fat all these years that I'm done weighing myself man it's my pants fit I'm at the right weight for me I have different levels of pants in my closet down I have a big stack of oh I have to be eating pizza and ice cream at 2:00 a.m. and going right to sleep pants most of those have drawstrings okay all of those have drawstrings then they have a smaller stack of these pants feel okay if I don't wear them for too long because after like an hour and a half it feels like someone has wrapped my stomach and razor wire is tugging on both ends when I take them off leave Isis and printed backwards on my stomach back I have a stripe down my thigh like a marching band pants then I have a much smaller stack of oh I'll wear those again one day so we have that delusion man I found a pair of penises my club the other day they still have that plastic sticker on the leg yeah this is a 32 inch waist but I kept them because I truly believe I will I will wear those Jordache jeans again someday if you got that joke here for my generation anybody south of 40s gone what's it Jordan I don't have an app for that hey did you know Drybar comedy has their own app download it right now and you can watch my entire special on your phone bet it'll leave your house