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The Dangers Of Eating Right. Chris Strait


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Added by Mel in Comedy
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Description

The dangers of eating right are more prevalent than you might think, just ask Chris Strait.

 

 

 

 

 

Video Script:: 

you never done I'm trying to eat right - I'm trying to eat better but you never know what you could be eating something you think you know is healthy and next thing you know they recall it and it was poison they've recalled three different types of lettuce in my lifetime when I was a kid they did it with iceberg about 20 years ago there was a problem with the spinach and wasn't it just last year the romaine had to give you recall you know if they've never recalled in my 43 years in this planet Cheetos never once called those back why would they have to lie I'm sorry we found vitamins in this we're gonna happen this is awful how about the rest yeah I can't eat right all day it's too long of a day I have food morals when I wake up but the longer I stay awake the more I lose them right and the better I start the worse I finished right if breakfast is egg whites and fiber cereal dinner is like a sheet cake with corn dogs stuck upside down begging total strangers someone put me to sleep before I make another bad decision I've tried every diet Under the Sun that no carb the vegan the low carb low carb is the hardest one to pull off at a buffet especially at breakfast because it makes your plate look ridiculous nobody knows what you're doing cuz low carb still has a little bit of car you're sitting there with eggs bacon ham sausage and one Apple didn't wants this older guy kept looking at me finally he came up and went you know buddy you're asking an awful lot from that Apple he's right to all the food gets in my colon that Apple turns into a bouncer at a nightclub right right everybody out everybody out what did vegetables call in sick again yeah everybody out we're good people say Chris how do you know how do I know if I'm eating too much how do I know if I have an unhealthy relationship with food here's a good way to tell do you have eating outfits that is never a good sign if you've ever uttered the phrase these are my barbecue jeans you need help they make you neurotic stuff we have to eat as he heard him say I'm from Los Angeles California it is true those where I was born and raised it's a real city with real people the celebrity thing is overblown but that being said I did actually have a celebrity sighting recently I was at a parked as I was at a red light I look over how many of you remember the 80s hair metal band a Twisted Sister you guys were with that band Twisted Sister yeah Dee Snider the lead singer is standing on a street corner he's trying to put a coin into a parking meter but he's distracted talking to somebody and he can't see that it's a card only read meter so I'm like oh I will never get this chance again I got to do it rolled the window down and I said it's not gonna take it no it ain't gonna take it [Applause] it's not gonna take it anymore you guys have been awesome before we get out of here I want to say live your life I don't like to say live every day like it's your last because it probably won't be and that's not always the right I say yeah how people like to that God they do everything so non-committal I was in line behind somebody total stranger I don't know them buying one roll of toilet paper I've heard a fear of commitment but that is ridiculous I couldn't hold back I said sir are you trying to quit you don't want to be stuck with extra toilet paper when this little wiping fad dies out do the opposite stack your house full of toilet paper when you know you're sick and about to die let your family find that and go what was grandpa planning people take nearly advantage of the pranks you can play on loved ones with your will because you're not there for them to ask questions leave practical jokes in it don't tell them but I just like do the whole eulogy in a language you or no one else in your family can speak why is this being done in Korean I don't get this put a frozen yogurt bar at the end of your body just have fun with it I'm gonna put all kinds of weird stuff in there I'm gonna write in that I want to be scattered but not cremated let my lawyer chew on that one for a couple weeks right you guys have been awesome I'm Chris Trey [Applause] you

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