Men And Women Are Different. Steve Geyer

Men and women are different, if you don't believe us, just ask Steve Geyer.

Video Script:: 

you married people know about that right you know what they say love is blind but marriage is an eye-opener right how many of you when you were dating you did not know what you were in for after you got married right because when you were dating you were infatuated you were not in love there's the difference because when you're infatuated every nothing bothers you and you're on the neverending phone conversation oh yeah I love you too okay did you hang up ah me neither oh this must be true love oh shut up you do not know true love how many of you I did this I would travel I would drive like 45 minutes just to see Cathy for 10 when we were dating and in our 31 years of marriage there are times I won't go in the kitchen if she's in there because there's butcher knives in the kitchen because you know when you're dating you're on your best behavior and everything you know and and I I really didn't know the differences that there were between men and women like I grew up with em I didn't have a dad growing up and so my mother taught me things that my dad should have taught me so for a long time I used to throw a ball like this it's funny now I'm the third grade and then I struggled with you know being a man I thought well when I could grow a mustache then I'll be a man and then I realized my grandmother's got a mustache right and so there's you know we had all these differences and when we were dating and stuff they didn't really manifest until you know we got married then all of a sudden it was like man I had no idea that women don't smell their underwear to see if they're clean that's a man thing cuz women know if they're on the floor they're dirty men we don't know can't tell by looking at him they're always that color yes Kenny go in the stream and go hey minnow those underwear clean he'll walk over pick them up no [Music] and they're not even mine man golly [Applause] in ladies if you're married you know you you've tried to throw your husband's underwear away and you know they were in the trashcan and the next thing you know they're back in their drawers you're like what is are they lucky no they're not it's not a lucky pair anything see it doesn't matter to us how many holes are in it as long as the elastic at the stuff at the top still works if it snaps back doggone it it's a pair don't throw those away and just did little different new one see things like Kathy's very clean and like Kathy will use a towel once and then it's dirty it will use a towel until I take it off the towel rack and it stays bent you know in the bedroom and that freaked me out because I you know I was a bachelor for a long time and so when I got married you know I never decorated my bathroom before I got married I didn't have decorations I had you know like you know you walk into my bathroom there's toilet paper there's some deodorant a toothbrush and a magazine okay like you don't read when you go to the bathroom off right cell phones okay nevermind what is our culture become right but I get married and I walk into our bathroom and on the counter where I used to have nothing there's a little city with this all this stuff and I look over at my toilets got a fur coat got a little matching lids a little hat for the lid a little right you know like you're all dressed up with nowhere to go aren't you look at you look cute hey Kenny you guys know kid Kathy bought a toilet brush I have never owned a toilet brush in my life and to this day I still prefer toilet paper you gotta have like a callous to use that brush I've been doing stand-up for 43 years and people I was asking what's your favorite joke I got that one and I go I go well super one cuz I think it's funny and number two it makes religious people go like this it's my favorite is because about a third of the audience still hasn't gotten it yet you mean he claims that the toilet we talk here but now he wipes it Oh hey did you know that Drybar comedy has their own app you should download it right now so you can watch my whole comedy special