Uncle Skeeter Reads Funny Letter He Wrote to Nephew!

Uncle Skeeter
Full Name: Skeeter Clemens Hollis

Age: 78

Voice: Gravelly, high-pitched Southern drawl with a wheezy chuckle

Appearance: Wiry frame, overalls with one strap undone, old felt hat, boots with duct tape on the toe

Personality: Jolly, scatterbrained, mischievous, thinks duct tape fixes everything, allergic to common sense

Hobbies: Moonshine tastin’, fishin’ with no bait, talkin’ to raccoons like they’re family

Favorite Sayings:

“That’ll buff out.”

“Back in ’74… or was it ’84?”

“Ain’t nothin’ that can’t be fixed with bacon grease and prayer.”

????️ Uncle Skeeter Reading His Letter Aloud:
(He squints at an old notebook, licks his thumb, and begins reading slow and proud with a raspy chuckle at the end.)

"Dear Nephew,

A possum got in the kitchen again, but don’t worry—I named him Larry and he’s real polite.

Your Aunt Myrtle says hey, and supper’s at six… if you ain’t scared of biscuits with attitude.

Yours in gravy,
Uncle Skeeter."

(He folds the letter, nods solemnly, and mutters:)

“That’ll keep the boy comin’ 'round.”