Kevin Pollak Does Woody Allen, William Shatner, and Columbo on Carson Tonight Show, 10/19/1988

Kevin Pollak Does Impressions of Woody Allen, William Shatner and Columbo on The Tonight Show Starring Johnny Carson - Airdate: 10/19/1988

Video Script:: 

kevin pollak is a young comedian actor who appeared believe it or not is one of the tiny brownies and Willow last summer he's now co-starring a new series on another network as they say called coming-of-age which goes on October 24th and he appears regularly at the improvisation in Hollywood would you welcome please Kevin Pollak are you doing very good very good you ever hear Harpo Marx played I love her I just say are you doing very good very good you were supposed to be with us a week or so ago and we ran along or something somebody told me now everybody I didn't when I was a kid and I'm sure Whoopi did everybody who does comedy starts out by stealing other people's voices and does impressions I would hide behind them because it's easy to go to oh yeah what do you do well I started as a waiter and I would try out the impressions on the customers that's how I first started and it helped because when your waiter and you bring the wrong order you make a mistake it's just the one of yourself at that particular moment present' one night this woman asked for rice with her fish very common order I was in a hurry I made a mistake butter baked potato well she's screaming at me she can't believe I bought her baked potato I go excuse me ma'am jeez I'm sorry you baked potato with fish [Laughter] [Applause] even the I guess certain lines if they say waiter can we have our check place and I go okie-doke and they went made me assistant manager which is fun no just my job to go to tables that there was a problem I'd bring over bottle of champagne only I'd be drinking it hello everyone is there a problem with the waiter what kind of reaction did you get from this oh they liked it they liked it and then well a lot of support in San Francisco where I'm from yeah and we're just back there doing a show and everyone is very excited from the family very supportive my mom though was obsessed that Humphry the humpback whale had come back resurface memory got stuck in the center of course come back this year yeah yeah and I kept thinking where's William Shatner you know whale in trouble you bring in Bill Shatner Humphrey Humphrey listen to me time and space you're taking up valuable time respect go back and do the do the blue fuck again that's marvelous are you from San Francisco San transition you know and it's you never do you ever work on the streets up there just in clubs oh no just the club yeah oh now I got to write an episode so I'm very excited about that and cuz my my mentors really were Albert Brooks and Woody Allen growing up watching them as a matter of fact Darlene would just like I'm not comfortable I don't think it's just to be okay I think it's lassoo you have your own clothings a Johnny Carson law in very nice this is the Danny DeVito collection okay nobody's ever done L where Brooks before and I finally met him and there's a day he got the nomination for broadcast news right and I came in and I said listen Albert congratulations he knew that I did an impression of I said congratulations on the nomination obviously no one could be more thrilled for your success than I am and he said of course now no one has more to gain from it than you the show goes on Monday I understand isn't dr. wife family the social you hated the show that's right and although she and dr. Shara life I can assure she's younger and much more attractive gia a two-income family how nice yeah Albert Brooks you don't do woody do you well I tell you what asked me if I if I want to go fishing this is my favorite stuff would you like to go fishing actually without sounding a bit didactic I think it's extremely important we analyze this little request of yours first of all I like fishing you know Cleese got the pack and I'm not a real skilled Packer I think I put that on my resume you might want to check that and they don't like fish you know I don't like getting the actual form of life or it can be enticed by a word with the possible exception of my Aunt Bessie who married uncle Bernie of course a man with many worm-like qualities [Applause] you