Jonathan Winters Carson Tonight Show 20/12-1991

Jonathan Winters Carson Tonight Show 20/12-1991

Video Script:: 

[Applause] [Music] I've known Johnny winners for over 30 years and some of the times I'm not sure what he is going to say or what he's going to do he is one of the most greedy people in the entertainment business and as you know his series Davis rules comes back on the air December 30th and January first on another networking is's and not the one that was originally on I sounds just like Jonathan hmm would you welcome Jonathan winters [Applause] [Music] [Applause] [Music] my god I could have sued you so come out to far John John good what did you say about these are poinsettias that for what he says poinsettias I say poinsettia what do you say what he says always you're a wonderful man I love you and where is my gift I know you're going off in May but I was counting you know I'll be on hopefully before you've got I don't Cinco DeMayo you can come back anytime oh thank you God bless y'all yes I'm good my chair sure I just came to hello whores Colonel I still won't have you aboard thank you and I don't think I see all right thank you sir you always do this yes they do like a little rascals elite y'all want that suit downtown then yeah I can I could take these off right I wanted to tell you seriously for me yeah I can see that I I started from Alaska about six days ago see we're not talking about skateboards you know on little rollers there's things like that or a car I had 16 dogs and I want to tell the people out there this they were not live dogs because I'll tell you for many reasons there are a lot of animal lovers like myself and you whip those poor devils you know you're starting up there in Anchorage and you come on and swing down through norm and I catch a can by the time you get into Oregon there's no snow and these guys are man it's it's depressing dogs can be manic-depressive Anand I say there's no bone you're from a little meat and they turn around and I had a guy I had 16 dollars 15 oh yeah I have a lot of goodies Huskies huh Huskies yeah I guess there were certainly big dogs and cookie Malamutes from LMU Challis take a choice yeah oh I had a guy up with a lead dog because of a dog instantly I said they weren't real dogs only weren't they had a key in a minute yeah they looked like they were real that guy was real and he had full leather on I whipped him pretty good he turned around and the smile said so but you made it from Alaska all in one shot and these are like old Indian my gosh you're right you're very observant just huh these are I think I want to be right on this because you want to get letters I think they're bought him in a Minnesota I think they're Chippewa could be chimp along today maybe the in is nominal clapped about six yeah could be nests Pierce nests pierces your last off the bus what a super fan al lot of shoes out there and can I put those there for a while still not yours huh wait look I'd like to have it you know why do you want to give them to you there's honey your hand is saw thank you for Allosaurus very attractive man thanks you I get lonely during the holidays you sure do yeah I was an only child we really made moves on lots of guys this off ballgame but you know I'll cut it out John what's good see again well it's a fun time of the year boy I'm up for it for a guy didn't drink you know or smoke yeah you invite you all these parties Terrell cereal not injeong game Baroness leading their little tongues you know they're picking up on cookies and everything they're like you know well dressed kind of regimental tidal lizards a woman came to me the other night engine very attractive one about 42 little mileage and so I didn't wear as much as my women please I'm 66 I was very happy to be there I'm happy to be every day I get up you're right Wow Wow we have bars on her windows were frightened you know and well where I was before that boys I know I know [Music] afraid to break in we want to get out I came up the other day said you know funny drinks in there you know any fruitcake I bought him a fruitcake and push it blew up on him before he got to the heart you have been in the past in the Christmas party if both of us been the crisps morning years ago we had you know more than well we had to crawl out you know and our hands and knees and try to make our where the car is yeah it's embarrassing to spend a whole evening yo Iron Man mr. winters don't you know I'm not I wouldn't know what kind of car is it I know or if you brought what real cars as a black car now there's a tired yeah but this time of year now this time of year do you go out shopping at all oh yes you do I do I understand a lot of executives and from all walks of life I just kind of say Helen get a lot of stuff send it to the employees yeah and just tell him my son so she gets it goes out and gets you know he'll pencil holders or something and it's a real have that thing about it's the thought that counts yeah that's uh you know it's like saying here it's a thought that counts yeah I got you mm gee people today in my family want money I used to be you know a couple of bucks on a nice sweater you know a pair of skates or something we don't have any place to skate but well I'm Tom but ice skates there at least you know you can dream or so that's another thing maybe next year you with front uh but it's like I need ten grand so do I yeah yeah what's the matter the washers out ass Yama God's sake I know you've got it dad come on help me I just helped your brother go yeah he his whole house fell down yeah mom no mrs. winters how was the I was the little lady - you're the little woman is uh she's doing very well she's like big-ticket items for Christmas I mean with jewelry stuff like that or do you get her a mission so later a plan or something or Eileen I know you're listening she's a little tight uh-huh I don't mean this Oh slow I think a better word is she a little close I know what she told me she gave me a lovely car and used oh yeah yeah and she said I'm not putting out 45 grand for a car you clown I said would you get something around 15 you know I gotta drive something that's halfway decent so she said yeah so this year a couple of weeks ago I said what are you gonna kind of like a little kid oh yeah I'd like to play a little boy cuz sometimes you can suck her min she's a she's about my age and so I leaned in I said are you getting me this year baton mama she doesn't like that terminology she said the same thing you got last year so I guess I have to go along with it yeah oh okay yeah better take a break here and then we'll come back and we'll talk about Christmases past or whatever you'll enjoy the bed okay [Applause] [Music] [Applause] [Music] uh remember to dancing to that music yeah you missed the big band stuff oh boy I love the big bands that's why we got the big ban here gooo Kelly great doc just just find out on all the guys so nobody's offended the single out doc he's usually hated you know in some way by a guy in brass section or something forbid oh yeah for being a leader but most of the guys I'd say at least 98% love you alright probably two guys didn't you give you a gift right not what what gift as a kid did you remember that you just you want their ass cage away again I mean do you remember back when you were little when I was little yeah baby rival yeah well leaving a Daisy BB got the guy next door taking those things out of his head oh yeah weird yeah oh no I'm kidding about that because I know there are a lot of children listening um I did load out though and fire up this gun and couple of squirrels got here didn't uh didn't I remember you didn't Maude frickert used to read Christmas poems or well I yes Maude frickert did a little thing I don't have any of the drawings but I did a routine for the old lady and I had to agree here you know and the bun in the back and the long dress and little brooch and it was you know at this time of year John there I always come out with my Christmas cards and I was influenced highly by Grandma Moses I'm 94 years old 84 and the clown on the NBC hour always says another pretty woman you know oh you're right no no no mention his name hey no sir yes where's several rugs a minute any rate I have these little cards and I they're simple Bob because you know there are other simple people out there and right so I'd draw for instance just a stick figure and then little circles of snow oh that's mine sell the card for about $56 [Music] I'm an old person that's out of it you know sympathy sympathy yeah yeah card or something um did Lenny still work at the house there's a house man went out Lenny I forgotten about Lenny yeah my grandma how you know I've asked you never to come in here at this time here your mouth full of that tobacco you nasty man grasshopper and Levi's get out of here well that's when you ladies lay up in bed suck on that egg no record of beer I don't teach him to bark at me Lenny was a caution wasn't it Yahoo Lenny is getting got out of control this on a way now he's one of the better farms we have we have your co-host Bonnie Hunt coming in to join us the shows going well unless her art I tell you Bonnie Hunt seriously I'd like to say that worked with a lot of people of all ages but she's one of the brightest young people I worked in along with a long time and I want to say a word about our leader Randy Quaid who is he's got the lead in the show and then the rest of us graduate on down to smaller cell reason but hey we're all very happy to be working that's the whole thing you know it is to work I think all those guys at General Motors right now are out you know looking at a rusty car that's much fun and so my heart goes out to anybody that's how to work this time here and I I wish I had a lot of money I could just drive through the country and and throw Dimes in the air well my grandfather used to say you know rockefeller yes you're about we're all gots a mature and not Nelson the old man the other man telling Gumby he looks like his eyes were deep set and he was kind of almost like weasel like you know and look very well honey very well times yeah he threw dimes to people I gotta father's that never give a guy a dime yeah never yeah my grandfather gave guys quarters quarters and they still rolled it with Miss hunting just a moment [Music] [Applause] [Music] another member Davis rules and Bonnie also has a movie coming out in the spring with Charles Grodin called Beethoven would you welcome Bonnie Hunt [Applause] [Music] he was speaking very highly of you a moment ago did you hear that yes I did yeah now I could live up to it no how are you good see you again okay how are you yeah do you see him outside of the show at all you were on that since I married yeah well I didn't mean no I didn't mean in that sense I managed that as a social thing you know I do we were yeah I guess so hey listen what honey would I be out of line and asking you to turn the dress around imagine what that would cause to the Christmas party get a couple of laughs anyway yeah yeah I've been over to Doug been over to Jonathan's house my husband and I went to visit him one time in Santa Barbara what's it what's it like well getting into the house was an experience cuz get to call from the front gate and yeah somebody answers the phone and buzzes you in our Shane and we called and we got the rooms been rented but calling here oh it was Jonathan of course we called six times somebody somebody differentiable all Jonathan yeah Eugenia don't denied with but leave a message right back the whole thing and then he finally led us in and we were frisked remember that well just me anyway you had left my husband alone I didn't touch him I weave electrified the gates inside are you it's funny to see those people and it's a big sign you can't miss it corsets in Thai [Applause] but they just kind of whatever hammock I think that's kind of fun for the holiday season did where did you go where he paints you know he has yes I went paint extremely well went to Jonathan's room um well hmm room 319 no and he has a collection of a bunch of toys old toys and odors different hats yeah he has soldiers and um certainly was almost a museum of just went through the house or just all just one room I think is why I leave I think Giga Julian said the one room for the one boy yeah she doesn't I wanted to put my paintings up I don't know what I told you she didn't let you put him up backwards unfortunately but I'll hang you all around with him to the wall that's what I was going for thanks done good da when I see the show I get the feeling sometimes that especially Jonathan is not following what the writers may have written for that week's episode really said it would I be fairly correct on that no yes you are correct Jonathan that's what's so great being on the show for me I come from second city in Chicago and I love to improvise and the in this series it's just very unique because of course we get a script every week and we sit around the table and we read it and then we get onto the onto the set and we start doing the scenes and Jonathan does whatever the hell he wants basic so it makes it so you've got a job oh sure I try to keep up with him mmm sometimes she didn't have to try yo she's ahead of me in many many ways and I say yeah I'm not your agent or your husband I'm certainly an elderly fan I would expect some candy you know sometime over the holidays but no she's a very gifted lay we just have a we've had a ball together and I just hope that like most people when they have a little run at this game that you get a couple of years I I look back over my shoulder and when people say to me like they would say to Bonnie or Johnny you're talking about you guys got 29 years I mean usually mine is about a season in two months now why is that why then Jack Lord runs across in the Jeep get him out of here Hawaii five-o it's surf time so and her painting out there little you know thing there yeah I remember when that one at CBS fillet yeah that was the last time it seemed to me I was there um they were painting my name out I was just going to my car you know to sing and the guy threw us a tough break mr. Warren that's the way it goes did they play monk in the middle with your keys they were throwing north and Jonathan was terrific painting somebody else's name in your parking sure yeah I ran over him are you a second