Being Nice Can Be Awkward. Matt Bergman

Being nice can be awkward, and Matt Bergman has some great stories to prove that point.

Video Script:: 

this is my first time ever in utah so it's been yeah it's it's really been incredible everyone's been so nice it's scary um it's almost like if canada became a state that's how i describe what's happening here it's wonderful it's very nice i've been performing in canada a lot lately um wonderful people up there they do have stereotypes about americans i'm not sure if you know they're not they think we're dumb i'm not sure if they're watching our news um that could be it but i'm very nervous when i go up there i don't want to be the stereotype i'm extra cautious and i just fall so short every time here's what you need to know about me i only speak english i would love to speak other languages and sometimes my brain is like you probably can and that's not a good idea i'm not sure if you guys have been in canada before last time i went through customs and they do what they always do at the border they go hello bonjour and this particular day i just went bonjour and then they spoke a language that i assume was french i don't know what they started saying i just had to stop and go ma'am i'm so sorry i don't know how to speak french and she's like why do you say bonjour i'm like can we just start over again is that possible i don't know is there a french word for mulligan how'd they call that right about now that's limo lagoon i just i don't know lee sounds right i've seen constant approval from strangers that's why i'm talking to you right now i do i just i i want people to know that i'm trying to be a good person and i triple thank you wave to someone the other day you ever done that before i was in traffic some guy was nice enough to let me merge over so i do what i hope we all do i do the little thank you wave in the river mirror and he didn't do the universal like hey you're welcome he seemed like a great guy he knew that back to me so i was like well that's a little weird but probably he's checking his cell phone that's probably what's going on we're all guilty of that but i don't want him to think that i wasn't appreciative of what just happened so i didn't know the thank you wave again in the river mirror and still nothing i was like dude what is his problem what is going on i go matt calm it down the sun is starting to set right now the glare is probably in his eyes he can see how great of a person you are [Laughter] so then i actually rolled down my window i did a little thank you wave again and then i look back to see a mouth of words okay i'm like oh i didn't all right i didn't know if you saw her now you let me do that three times all right let me do that three times that's that's kind of on you at this point [Laughter] really bad handshakes too i need to mention that uh terrible handshakes i've just always i don't know what's happening with me i'd like a 30 success rate when it comes to handshakes is anyone else really bad like if you don't do business i don't know what you're about to do i'll make it weird that's a bergman guarantee i had one a few months ago this guy came up to me a show really nice guy big guy though he comes up he's like hey man great stuff and he goes in he goes like that which you guys all see with that i'm like that's business i got that that's an easy one it wasn't what he wanted to do was like you've seen it before it's like the smack with like the finger grab the in for the half hug the pan of the back you guys want to talk about oh i was not ready for any any of that and people were watching i was like hey what's up man i'm like that like he did his thing i did my thing we just like fumbled around for a little bit and i just started tickling the palm of his hand right just tickled away and then he went for the half hug which happened so quickly all i could do i just gently put my head on to his pectoral muscle i think i went limp for a little while he'd slowly patted me on the back like what do you do nothing you can't do a thing you you sit there and you take it that's what you do and i would love to tell you guys how uncomfortable it was but it really it felt wonderful it felt wonderful it felt so good i felt safe for the first time in my life you know it's like i was back in the womb wonderful it's wonderful hey did you guys know dry bar comedy has their own app of course it is 2019. you can download it right now and watch my whole special